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| Shard in the mist |
Over the ME years I've been through episodes when I've seemed unnaturally resistant to everyone's coughs and colds, and then my luck runs out and it will be one virus after another. I'll refrain from the laundry list of ailments but all I can say is that I've hit one of those phases when those bastard viruses have ganged up on me. ME-wise, it's the R-word again. Oh well, c'est la vie and all that. We've all been there and we all know the score.
I've missed three of my beloved art classes, and those classes are the highlight of my week. I've missed my classmates and our after class tea and fun. I've missed taking photographs of the things I see whenever I'm out. These photographs taken with no aim in mind—like the one above when I was on my way to class at the beginning of March—feel like postcards from another time and place now. Yet at the same time, looking at my photographs makes me want to get out there again.
4 comments:
Hey Dig, I hope you are out again taking photographs soon. Your postcards analogy is spot on. Take good care x
Thanks, NMJ. For the moment, I'll just have to be content to go through my archives and dig out a few 'postcards', which is actually quite a good idea as I'd neglect all those images especially when they were just sort of random 'out and about' photos. The Shard photo in the mist—I would have just left that doing nothing on my hard drive had one of my classmates not asked for a copy after seeing it on the back of my camera. She says she wants to do something with it at her printmaking class. To be honest, that ****ing City & Guilds course sort of dented my confidence and enthusiasm, even though I gained a qualification. Strange but true. Making the grade didn't level out the crappy teaching and the lack of feedback and encouragement. So, perhaps the silver lining of this bad phase has been going back over what I've done in recent months and taking a look at my experiments and photographic doodlings.
Oh sorry you're in a trough. Same here...actually I think the planets have it in for us PWME'rs: so many are flagging atm.
I can absolutely understand the fallout from the course. It was the same with my degree course, and for a long time afterwards, fellow students and I would say we were 'in recovery' or convalescence as we processed what had happened to us. I think it's a steep learning curve afterwards and that's when you really learn what sort of artist you are ...out in the world.
Hope you can climb back out of the hole soon and return to your classes and company x
Yes, Cusp, I can totally relate to that 'in recovery' feeling. Previously, I had been on a couple of short one-term adult education courses run by a fabulous tutor who not only taught her subject thoroughly but was encouraging and enthusiastic, and made sure that nobody received less than their fair share of attention and tuition. She encouraged lively debate and made sure that the quiet and less confident students were included.
What a contrast to the aloof and snooty attitude of the guy who taught the certificated course. He paid more attention to the ones who had the 'professional' (i.e. most expensive) gear and who also had the most experience and technical knowledge. I witnessed the lack of attention shown to the people who were in most need of tuition—not everyone was an advanced Photoshop expert or could afford 4 grand worth of gear. His attitude was "if you don't know you shouldn't be here" and if he didn't like someone's taste in subject matter or style he wasn't interested. There were two women on the course who he barely paid attention to, and that made me so annoyed. It was a course, people were there to learn. I was somewhere in the middle of his pecking order.
The whole experience dented my confidence, but not to the extent that I was ever going to give up. When you know that someone doesn't care much for your work but you also know that their judgement carries a lot of weight in the final analysis, the whole experience becomes one of a long, drawn out feeling of dissonance.
But, it's over now, and as my other tutor said, I had to grieve the experience.
Sorry to hear you've also been rotten lately. I hope you pick up soon.
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