Doing it by the book

An exercise in finding pattern and shape

A few weeks ago I bought a second-hand copy of a classic academic photography book. It’s been quite hard to track down at a realistic price but I found a copy online and when it arrived it was in immaculate condition. The book teaches the importance of developing a photographic vision from the outset and there are a lot of practical exercises, all designed to develop an experimental and critical eye. It’s all wonderfully inspiring stuff and I can’t wait to try the exercises particularly those aspects of photography where I feel that I am inexperienced and where my skills are weak.

And this is where I ran into trouble… how do you do all this stuff when you’re stuck indoors? Especially when you’ve already photographed light switches and sockets and shadows on the wall so many times? I tried, but no matter how much I kid myself, it’s not the real deal like getting out there and photographing in interesting situations with good light. I’ve done compromise for too many years.

This also brings me to the whole issue of that lucrative first-world industry known as ‘life coaching’. I’ve read the blogs, I’ve heard the podcasts, I’ve seen the self-help books. They all come down to the same ingredients. Decide what you want. Do what you have to do to get what you want. Rinse and repeat. Live happy every after. Amen.

That’s all very well. Except for one thing. I know what I want but I’m not well enough to do what I have to do to get there. Pick a goal. Any goal. And it’s the same old story. If I was well I’d have a lot more choice over what I want to do and what I can realistically achieve. I was well—once upon a time—and I do remember what it was like.

Forget all the bull about the true meaning of ‘wealth’ being the richness we have in our lives from our geraniums or our cats or our prized copy of Little Dorrit. That sort of new age platitude might keep us going for half a minute. Once. But after 20 odd years of having lost your ability to earn a living through chronic illness you know fine well that you can’t pay the gas bill with a battered old paperback. You can’t because you can’t.

And I can’t work on certain photographic skills without being able to put the practice in—and I can’t do that if I’m ill and exhausted and housebound as I have been for the past six weeks. Nothing—and I emphasise NOTHING—can replace real world experience. Reading how-to articles isn’t the same. Compromises and workarounds are great—and I am somewhat of an expert at thinking laterally and being resourceful—but it’s not the same as putting in the hours of practice that are necessary to achieve a certain level of competence.

I’m posting one of my ‘compromise’ photos anyway. Despite being stuck indoors and going mad, I still  took one of the exercises from the book and created something new.