Descent
I woke up today feeling that I'd got it all wrong. I'm doing this course. When I started I wanted to do well and now I find myself doing a project that probably doesn't quite follow the assessment criteria. I could do a project that ticks the right boxes. A tabletop flower macro thing, perhaps. And that's no bad thing except that I just don't enjoy the process no matter how pretty the results. So…I just don't know.
I went to an exhibition of street photography yesterday and there was a short film of interviews of some of the featured photographers. One contemporary photographer said that he used to admire the work of Henri Cartier-Bresson, emulating his style, shooting only in black and white like his hero. Then one day he realised that he had to find his own style and that's what he did. As I was watching this interview, I thought to myself that I've never actually had any photographic heroes. I was never inspired by a photograph or a photographer. There was no pivotal moment when I made that decision 'to be a photographer'. Many years ago I enrolled on an art course and was encouraged to try their new photography class. I borrowed an Olympus Trip, learned how to develop black and white film, and so on. I heard encouraging words so I just kept doing it. Without heroes.
These days we live in a very image-saturated culture. Photography as an art form and a spare-time activity is more prevalent than ever. Just about everyone has a camera of some kind, even if it's a lofi cameraphone. There are more exhibitions, more books, more rockstar photographers. There are more people using digital SLRs than ever used film SLRs. Due to the internet and the availability of information and images, people can look at the work of the famous and the iconic and read about their lives, all at the click of a mouse.
I am undoubtedly influenced by our visual culture, and in my quest to explore ideas, I probably do pick up on certain trends. I know can use the same old bag of tricks as everyone is free to do. But I don't have a favourite photographer or role model. I just pick up the camera and do whatever I do. I try to express what I see AND try to bring out something else, a mood, a feeling, a narrative, a question. Most of my personal and experimental projects wouldn't make the grade on an assessed course and I am questioning what I'm doing there. Do I find another project? Do I quit? Is this a cop out? Is there another project I can do instead in the time I have available to get it all done? In any case, I've uploaded one of the images. The show must go on after all.
5 comments:
It seems there is really no right or wrong decision here, just that you need to decide which one you want to make - and either one involved some kind of compromise. Finishing the course, by hook or by crook, will probably give you the satisfaction of having completed something you set out to do - and it sounds as though you have put a lot of work into it.
I have some urgent admin to catch up with so I'm having a few days off from thinking too much about photography. I think that allowing my subconscious a bit of time and space is probably better than forcing ideas into existence when they just aren't there. I'm also discovering just how limiting this illness is, not just symptoms but also how socially limiting and and the opportunities we miss out on as a result. People find their photo opportunities by being able to travel, to walk and carry gear but also through their work colleagues and their social activities. It's no wonder that PWME take a lot of pictures of their gardens and cats!
Well if you want me to be straight with you (and I'd presume that you do)I'd say:
a) I think its rather good that you have no heroes and can find your own way whilst still knowing about other photographers
b) since you dont have a massive investment in the course but may still learn something from it and it gives you a structure/audience.critics...why dont you stick with it whilst bending the rules, sticking with your vision and seeing what happens
c) I think this image is brilliant and dynamic and I'd like to see more
x
I took my prints to class the othr night and the response from my classmates has been enthusiastic although I'm sure there are one or two who think 'WTF!' and just say nothing. My own view is that I've experimented and explored not just techniques and tricks but the way that other photographers have used blur and motion to convey different moods and feelings of disquiet, urgency or even quiet contemplation. I've learned more by following my own path than from all the f-stoppery in class. Technique has it's place and it is a skill to apply it well so I'll probably try some still life photography at home and see if a project materialises from that.
I love this photo, Dig. It makes me a bit dizzy, but I think that is good. If it's any help, I have no one literary hero, there are many writers I love to read, others I more love the idea of rather than their words, but no actual single hero. My own writing came out of the chaos of being ill, that's all I know. Good luck!
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